Breathing Space

Spare time is dangerous.

2012-01-20T14:38:00.000+08:00

So the Chinese New Year holidays are coming up and my office will be closed starting tomorrow.

This is DANGEROUS. This means I will have lots of spare time on my hands. Only bad things happen when I have nothing to do.

I eat rubbish. Who doesn't? When on holiday, my diet changes to holiday food. It happens even on weekends. Will have to keep my eye on a goal and keep eating healthy and adding more exercise to my daily routine. My goal is to lose 10lbs by the end of the month (lost six since Jan 3rd) and I can't let the holidays make me look like the flake I have been. And I have a 5km target to help me have another focus if the 10lbs target loses its appeal.

I shop. With so much spare time, I have time to think. And bad things happen when I think. I'll think that I need things. Like 6 types of moisturisers for different sorts of moisturising needs. More shoes because a girl can never have enough shoes. Stuff in general, just in case. I already know I need DVDs and box sets. But I do! I found out I needed DVDs a few nights ago when I came home from work and had nothing to do for a couple of hours except think. It doesn't help that shopping is so appealing to the female species. No solution here.

I throw a pity party. I find I'm quite prone to pity parties, especially when there is idle time. Ugh. Hate that I do it, but I can't help it. Even if I had a dozen puppies running around in a million dollars in my living room.

A holiday would've been a great distraction but I'm still neutralising moving costs. The next break will be good. I promise me.

Retrospect 2011: Unresolved Resolutions

2011-12-28T15:26:00.001+08:00

Before I go on about what I'm going to do differently next year, I thought it wold be worth reflecting at 2011's New Year Resolutions.

Resolution number one was to read more fashion magazines. Success. I bought many items which were not tank tops and second hand shorts.

Resolution number two was to travel more. I obviously felt rich when I wrote this. I only made it to the UK, but was there for a good month. After that I could only travel to bars, and also had to save for my migration to the peninsula. Back and forthed three times since September. 10 check ins at the airport definitely counts as travelling more. Umm... Success!

Mandarin classes, shiatsu and beauty salons was number three. Pedicured three times then bought my own pedicure set because my pedicurists were too amazed at the state of my feet. Decided to "half-pedicure" my own feet before going to the salon so that the tsking would stop. It worked. No shiatsus nor Mandarin classes. One out of three.

As I read the In Summary paragraphs, I ask myself why I thought I needed to smack talk. How embarrassing. Whatever did I mean by kicking ass? 2011 was a good year, but I can't wait to give it a proper send-off and be best friends with 2012.

Chinese only

2011-12-20T17:12:00.002+08:00

So, I've found a beautiful spacious room in an okay house in a great lowrise condo in the Damansara area. Although it wasn't that hard (I only looked at 2 other places before finding this one), it still felt like a long process because I had to look through tonnes of ads online.

I looked at least 50-60 advertisements on various sites, trying to find a room that was in a nice house, in a nice area. My list was narrowed down to about 7 or 8, and after successfully finding a place, I called the rest to let them know, and wished them luck in finding a new housemate.

Filtering through those ads was not easy and was mostly frustrating.

One reason was the words "Chinese only".

Almost all ads specified that I should be of the Chinese descent. At first, this didn't bother me. After about 30 ads, I began to hate the words "Chinese Female only". I called a couple of people who actually said "No" when I said I wasn't Chinese.

I eat pork. I do whatever else a Chinese person does. AND I smell good. Why can't I rent a room with you???

I got really frustrated and wanted to call each of the owners to give them a piece of my mind. Not that I would want to stay with them anymore, anyway.

But then, I managed to get a viewing at a Chinese only house by remembering that my mum is Chinese. Being half Chinese helped.

After visiting a house that advertised with the words "Chinese only", I realised that "Chinese only" was a warning. They would not be able to understand my crazy phone calls/conversations because they spoke Chinese only. I speak no Chinese. They spoke little English. I would have to explain all my jokes.

Awkward!

Photo randoms

2011-12-19T15:21:00.001+08:00

Hello all, I was looking through my phone camera and thought a few of them deserve a space in the cyber world.

Not owning a car in KL has its advantages. Things don't whiz past me. I get to take pictures. My mind has time to wander.

Here are some pictures taken on my trips to everywhere. And the nonsensical thoughts that ensue.

This abandoned, broken bike has been here months, definitely for a while before I started walking this route. Too battered to have been stolen. I think an accident happened. The rider killed.

It says in smaller print: UNAUTHORISED PARKING WILL BE TOLL AWAY. Mind your Engrish.

Did she get fed up of her heels getting planted in the ground and just kick them off? Or was there a struggle before she got pulled into the kidnapper's van?

Two days later and I'm still thinking about these red shoes. Were they my size? And if they were, would I wear them or would I be too creeped out about the kidnapped girl?

How... hypocritical...

In the parking lot. My guess is that the owner didn't think that that snapping sound was this coming off his car.

Our public transport is filthy. This is one of the cleaner buses by RapidKL. Metrobuses are covered in 10 years' worth of grime and disease and people's boogers.

This is on the way to viewing a condo at Metropolitan Square. I could tell I was going to be disappointed with what I would be seeing from the curtains on the windows along the way. The 'curtains' were made out of random pieces of cloth, newspapers, posters... And the unit I'd visited had dead baby cockroaches on the floor.

On the pedestrian bridge I cross twice a day - once on the way to work and once on the way back - there is a skinny mother with a child that is always sleeping in her lap. They weren't there when I saw this, but I thought this might be his. Or it might've been anyone else's. Should I have picked it up to give it to them when I saw them again? I left it there in case someone came back to look for it.

The man next to me - a foreign national, with a bleeding thumb. I thought about giving him the plaster in my handbag, but didn't think it would be of much use - his thumb bled too quickly. He got off at KLCC.

This is the pedestrian bridge with the abandoned plastic doll, on a different day. In its place was a one-legged man, with his prosthetic propped up next to his head. When he awakes, he will sit right in the middle of the middle of the path, like a toll collector. But people will ignore him as they brush past him anyway.

Apartment hunting in KL

2011-12-15T16:46:00.000+08:00

To be precise, master bedroom hunting in PJ, Selangor. So the blog title is a bit of a misnomer, but I figured it rolls off the tongue a little easier.

Due to recent developments, I'll have to move to a different town within the next two weeks.

So I've been apartment hunting. Or master bedroom hunting.

I found my current place while I was still in the comfort of my desk at Fieldbase in KK. I found it online at ibilik.com and it was one of two rooms I'd considered. The other room was being rented out by an Iranian. My criteria was only that it be walking distance to work.

Carol, a friend of mine who lives in KL, was my proxy for the viewing. The Iranian went to Genting on the day the room was meant to be viewed and that annoyed both Carol and myself and earned an instant strikeout.

Luckily, room 2 was more than satisfactory. It's a tiny house with three rooms, and I have a room with that fits only a single bed and a wardrobe and a study table. The master bedroom is occupied by the landlady and the other room by a girl and her brother.

At first, at 8ft x 10 ft, RM800 seemed expensive. But that was the price around the area, and mine included all the utilities, including internet and satellite t.v.

On my relocation now, I thought it would be just as easy. People who rent out places would definitely spruce things up to make it attractive to the tenant, right? So wrong.

In my head, I thought I'd be looking at places like these:

Somewhere in Colorado, US

Mentari Condo, Cheras

Vista Damai Condo, near KLCC

It didn't help that most ads for places to rent do NOT have photos to show what the product is. They'll have lots of photos of the building: the north side, what it looks like from this side of the road, then the other side of the road, about five feet away from where you were standing before, etc. Everything but the unit itself or the room for rent. Mega annoying.

As you see, I don't have high expectations, just realistic ones. I wasn't expecting a room that looked like Nate Berkus just swished his magic wand in it. I did think it but after looking online at ads that did have pictures, I knew I wasn't going to get a room like any of these:

I went to two viewings last Sunday and was hopeful that either one would be IT and would be stress free as per usual. Unfortunately, despite the price and the descriptions that matched my "fully furnished master bedroom in a well maintained condominium" criteria, the first place I viewed looked more like

add lots of dead baby cockroaches on the floor.

The second room was a bit more put together because there was already someone staying in the room, but the kitchen was practically like this:

Very disappointing and disheartening but tonight I view two more rooms. They somehow sound a little more promising, but who knows! Wish me luck!

Weekend in Penang

2011-11-29T15:53:00.000+08:00

Didn't take many photos on my weekend away in Ipoh and Penang. And when I did use a camera, it was with my borrowed HTC Desire HD. Although I did take shots without using a camera app of some sort, I'm posting just the ones with special effects, mostly because I think they make my plain pictures more interesting.

IPOH - The capital of Perak. Ipoh was our breakfast stop on the first day and out late lunch stop on the way back.

Taken with Retro Camera in Ipoh, Perak. We stopped there for lunch and had a bowl of chicken and prawn hor fun (and pork satay and beef noodle soup) in an old. I would recommend this shop, because it was absolutely delicious, but I don't remember the name of the shop!

Another thing Ipoh is famous for is the salted chicken. This shop had a PROPER queue outside, and when people walked out they had BAGS of the stuff. In retrospect I should have ordered a box for myself but at the time my IQ was a bit low to be thinking strategically.

And random images:

PENANG - Now I know why the food is cheap.

Here are some images from Penang. I shouldn't have played with the settings because I couldn't really see what was on my screen with the bright sun. I was disappointed to see that the setting that I was on made most of the picture blurry for the soft effect. The rest of these were taken with the Pudding Camera app.

This was an abandoned building, but someone had put some decorations in it. Come to think of it maybe the whole row of this building was a live museum of some sort? No idea, but if you know, let me know.

This is not a drawing on the wall, but is actually a cast-iron piece placed about a foot away from the wall. You can see its shadow on the wall.

This is the view from our lunch venue on Jalan Datuk Keramat. In the back is a freezer a size of a house. Just above the two men sitting down there is a sign saying the shop is an ice-cream distributor.

So, I finally experienced cheap Penang eats for myself but I have to say it's not all what it sounds like. Food is cheap and good, but the servings are significantly smaller. Not entirely a bad thing as it left space for more food, of different kinds!

Our trip was a really short one so I hope to head over to Penang again for a little more sight-seeing. Penang has lots of interesting colonial architecture left over from history and I'd like to get to know the place a bit more. If you have been to Penang, or are from there, do let me know if there are more reasons to visit Penang!

Am I still mad as hell? Every time I read the papers!

2011-11-11T15:04:00.002+08:00

Came across this from Niamah

Are you still mad as hell?

A good friend of mine wrote this which I thought you all might like to read and think about...

Dear Malaysians, if you fail to be outraged by the multiple abuses of power by our Government in power, you are condoning their actions.

There have been so many cases of corruption, crime and incompetence, they tend to wear down your resistance and sense of justice.

They are banking on your inaction, lack of protest and defeatist attitude to continue their malpractices.

As long as they stay in power, they make and break the rules.

Stay outraged. Keep your fire burning. It is a marathon we need to complete to finish them.

If you give up now, they will win again. Then, all will be lost.

Not everyone is interested

2011-11-11T12:15:00.001+08:00

I had a blog outburst yesterday, lamenting the apathetic society that Malaysia is.

I must say though, that there are people who care, who think and are fully passionate about the state of the country, for which I am grateful. There just needs to be more of them.

There is hope for our future, I hope.

"Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person." - Mother Teresa

We All Get Old

2011-11-10T12:40:00.000+08:00

Be fabulous when you are young, do all that you want, say all that you must.

No, that isn't one of Zsa Zsa Gabor's quotes, it's what I just made up. Her quotes are mostly about men and about divorce.

Today I read that Zsa Zsa has been hospitalised again. I remember her as all glamour and gorgeousness, so when I saw her photo today I didn't recognise her. Zsa Zsa has been partially paralyzed since a 2002 car accident that left her in a wheelchair. She also suffered a stroke in 2005.

Keep smiling, Ms. Gabor.

Macho does not prove mucho.Zsa Zsa Gabor

Who cares?

2011-11-10T12:09:00.000+08:00

I don't understand people who say they are patriotic and yet fail to join the fight for common rights regardless of race, religion and gender; protest against government wrong-doing and fearlessly act for a better country.

More and more I see that beyond most of my friends, there is little I have in common with the majority of Malaysians.

1. Today I read in the papers that the government, who is primarily against Seksualiti Malaysia (an awareness programme about the LGBT community), has said that there is no need to look out for the interest of minorities if it is going to upset the majority. If this is the policy we're meant to go by, then the nation is fucked.

2. Recently it was revealed that the government overspent the national budget on unnecessary and outrageous acquisitions. Examples quoted from an online news portal:

Bizarre overpricing — the National Youth Skills Institute (under the Youth and Sports Ministry) approved the purchase of a car jack that cost RM50 for RM5,700, a digital camera that cost RM2,990 was bought for RM8,254 and RM1,146 was paid for a set of technical pens with a market price of RM160.
Negligence — the Police Air Wing purchased two helicopters worth RM117.75 million, which could not be used, as they did not meet specifications. Another RM15.4 million was spent to train pilots to fly these helicopters.
Incompetence — Customs Department under-utilised its RM290 million information technology system but was planning to spend another RM451.30 million to develop a new one.
Source

I think there was a couple of days where the people went WTF and then dropped the subject. In a normal world where people care about their country and the future of their children, politicians should be held responsible for their actions and buck the fuck up or get out.

Instead we feed them with power through apathy and our fear to protest.

3. The rally for clean and fair elections was faced with persecution, abuse and threats, an entirely bewildering and frustrating episode in our nation's history. What's so shocking is that there ARE people who are against fair elections! WHAT PLANET ARE THEY FROM? Again, these are people who are so afraid to rock boats and are happy to sit in a pile of shit.

If you read the papers (like I unfortunately have to), you'll know there are neverending issues on various things (but hey, if you're Malaysian, you probably don't care).

If you don't read the papers, you'll just have to cross the littered pedestrian bridge to see 1- 5 beggars with a money plate for you to help fill. Or take a bus and witness migrants verbally abused by bus conductors because the migrant don't understand what "satu stengah" means. Then watch the same bus conductor giggle like a school girl as he tries out his English with the white man who has boarded a bus that he hopes will take him to his destination. See the man who has accidentally dropped his heavy plastic bag to spill the contents out be pushed about by irritated people going down the stairs at an LRT station.

Love thy country. I'll try not to scoff. I know there are some positives to this country. I'll write about them another time when I am not so angry about the un-awesome majority.

It's not hard to see that I live in a nation that lacks empathy, a people who will fight only for the interest of their own race and religion (not all, just one, and guess which one), and apathetic towards issues that are going to slap them in the face in the future.

Who cares?

On the weekend

2011-10-24T16:57:00.001+08:00

On Friday, I picked Jim up from Sentral after work and we went to Changkat Tong Shin for laksa.

After dinner we went on to Havana on Changkat Bukit Bintang and met up with a bunch of friends and had copious amounts of alcohol.

On Saturday morning I woke up practically paralysed from the hangover. But eventually we made it to Bangsar to meet up with friends for lunch. After struggling through lunch we made it back to KLCC and decided the cinema was the best hangover cure. We watched Tresspass (6/10).

We recovered from or hangovers so we then went to the Skybar for more drinks. I think we did fairly well, drinking at least three drinks each before admitting defeat. I even had to tapau one of our Tiger beers.

Went home and Jim watched Hachi while I fell asleep on the couch.

Next morning was less painful. We went to Central Market for some window shopping. We had a good four hours before the Rugby World Cup Finals by the time we were done with the Central Market but decided to leave early and go wandering around Mid Valley Megamall before heading to Finnegans.

KTM sorted out our extra time with bad signage, delayed and cancelled trains. We waited and waited, and got on the wrong train, got off and waited on the opposite side of the platform to go back one station. Waited, waited and waited. Finally got a dark, dreary and crowded Sentral, full of people who obviously had been waiting for ages.

2 hours of our lives gone forever in the time-black hole that KTM is. Luckily, I had good company. Otherwise there would have been my blood everywhere from a burst vein. I could never see why Londoners thought the Tube was so horrible. No wonder. I've experienced KTM, that's why.

Anyway, we squeezed a movie in before the rugby and saw Killer Elite. A 5.5 out of 10 from me; it just underlined the need to stick to my vow to never again watch another Jason Statham movie. DeNiro, you betrayed me.

Then Rugby. I was expecting a bit more of a slaughtering from the All Blacks rather than a 1-point win! But the All Blacks did win, and that's all that matters. (Not that I am a huge fan of rugby, but while I'm interested, I picked the All Blacks.)

We got some dinner at the food court. Still hungry for a good movie and attracted to the idea of a chilled couple of hours in front of the TV, we head to Speedy to buy a DVD.

At Speedy, we hovered through the aisles not finding anything interesting. We should've gotten something from the pirated DVD peddler, I thought. He would've had a more interesting collection at premium prices. Finally, inspired by the trailer we saw earlier in the cinema, we pick up Mission Impossible 1, 2 and 3.

We get home to find M's dad watching football on the TV, so we sit down and join him in watching Manchester United getting their bottoms spanked by Manchester City. I am not a fan of either clubs, but Ah Beng (not his real name) was an ex-college mate who made such an annoying, cocky fan of Man U that it made me inexplicably, sincerely dislike the Red Devils. To this day. So 6-1 was extra funny-haha.

And now it's Monday. Which means Jim flies off and I'm back at work. Yuck.

Re-blog: "New York women and their shoes striding down Park Avenue"

2011-10-17T12:27:00.000+08:00

fromme-toyou:

New York women and their shoes striding down Park Avenue

GOR-GEOUS!

Must be so painful though.

Among my friends, I was/am the stiletto queen. My nose turns up at anything with less than a 3-inch elevation, and the thinner the heel, the hotter my lust for them.

In my last job all I needed was a pair of flip-flops and a good pair of hiking boots when required. I only had five pair of stilettos stored, and they would come out even more rarely than I would like. This went on for 3 years.

Coming into my new job, I looked forward to getting back into heels.

However, I am currently wearing a nice pair of studded flip-flops, what I wore from home to walk to work. I have a pair of neglected black stiletto pumps, which I am now pausing writing for so I can put them on.

There. Much better.

As much as I love the sexy, at the moment I can only last a couple of hours in them (standing and walking) and then my feet are in pain and no amount of resting will rescue them and I long for something more comfortable.

This will not be for long. I pledge to train my feet to once again to be the pro of this breed of yummy. I will once again, be able to run in them (as I did in my lecturing days).

P.S. Last night I did squats in my new 4-inch faux snake-skin heels. (I was wearing them in?) I was alarmed for a while when I heard creaking - thought it came from my knees but it was the inside of the shoes rubbing my toe nails. Phew!

Looking back 3

2011-10-14T16:51:00.000+08:00

Hey, Look what I found! A poem I wrote back in 2006 about the haze. I am so clever :)

I want the blue skies back

Haze
you make me craze
how many days
will you stay in this ..plaze?

I'm quite amaze
That 'ppl' so laze
And seem so unfaze
About this haze.

Indo make the raze
You blur our gaze
Don't play-plays
Our health pays

No more delays
You ugly phase
You will get no praise
Go away, we says.

2011-10-14T15:08:00.001+08:00

Motivation

2011-10-14T13:39:00.003+08:00

One of my friends regularly posts Workout Motivator of the Day on her blog. Basically it's photos of ridiculously hot-bodied athletes, who will inspire you to eat a teaspoon of dust for your lunch.

I'm to be a bit of a copycat today because I came across this lady today, thanks to a Woman's Health tweet.

photo: Francesco Carrozzini/ESPN The Magazine

Gretchen Bleiler, Olympic Snowboarder.

No, I am not aiming to get her body. My desk-job does not require and will not transform my body to be so sculpted. The only olympics I will be taking part in is tweeting and facebooking at the moment. But the magazine did an interview with her, and an interview offers a peek into what the hell motivates someone to get this fit.

Highlights from the article (and the interview page):

1. She says to espnW: "Being involved in sports, you think less about how your body looks and more how it performs."

Good for you, Gretch. I'm no athlete, and I've been watching a lot of Keeping Up With the Kardashians lately, so I'm thinking a lot about how my body looks. I'd like to see smoother curves on mine. Improved performance will follow. I'll be cat-walking the whole of KL when my body looks better.

Yes, I did a blog about how I'm comfortable with my fat, and this is kinda contradictory to that blog, but I'm not aiming for something bad by wanting nicer curves, no? Plus, it'll mean I can shop more. If you can't beat 'em...

2. Q: How do you stay motivated when you don't feel like training?
A: Goals are the secret. I have at least one goal that I work toward each day. It's all about taking hold of the day, rather than letting the day run you.

A goal each day. Got it. I can do that. Today my goal is to shave off 20 seconds off my 3km "run". Two days ago, my time was 25m 29secs.

3. During the off-season, how do you keep your body in shape?

I love to surf, mountain bike, hike, and practice yoga and Pilates. I also have a consistent gym program in the off-season, which includes squats, lunges, plyometrics, agility, and weight training.

What are your fave fitness moves?
To strengthen my lower body, I do tons of squats a day [including single-leg and barbell versions] to work my glutes, hamstrings, quads, and hips. My favorite upper-body muscle builder is a shoulder exercise called YTWL. Lying facedown on a bench, I grab a one-pound dumbbell in each hand and do raises with both arms in the shape of a Y [out in front, elbows straight], then in the shape of a T [out to the sides], then like a W [elbows bent, palms facing down], and finally, in an L shape [elbows at 90-degree angles, forearms up and parallel to the body].

Urm...You go, girl. I shouldn't expect to be doing the same stuff, obviously. So I'll run, and run harder. And I should really start doing weights.

Thanks, Gretchen! My will to exercise today just got stronger.

Looking back Pt. 2

2011-10-13T17:28:00.000+08:00

While I was browsing, this also came up, and made me laugh. I miss the old team!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Good Hair Day

A couple of weeks ago, before deployment and before the venturers arrived, Raleigh Borneo’s Country Director Extraordinaire Jim Clements put his curly locks up for auction to raise funds for Host Country Venturers.

For those of you who know and love the quality of Jim’s hair, fret not, he didn’t offer to snip his luscious golden (some say ginger) mane. Even better, he fearlessly agreed to have them straightened for a whole night on the staff’s karaoke night before the venturers arrived.

Inspired by Jim’s noble deed, Tom the accountant too agreed to join the fashion-risky fundraising act, so he willingly traded in his masculine alice band for a quick job with the straighteners for a side-swept fringe do a lá Katie Holmes.

Tom the Accountant

Katie Holmes

The results of the fundraising mission were fantastic! Jim and Tom managed to raise over RM500 from volunteer staff, which will afford one Host Country Venturer a place on Expedition 10A.

We didn't get a photo of Jim with his straight hair because we were rushing for our taxis, but thanks to technology, we can re-create his look from the night:

Before

After

I'm sure you, like us, applaud this sporting effort by both Tom and Jim. If you would like to help Host Country Venturers join our expeditions and make a better future for themselves, their families and their communities, you too can donate at JustGiving.

*photo of Katie Holmes taken from Google Images

Looking back

2011-10-13T17:26:00.003+08:00

This was awesome. (Yes, yes, the format lari, but I don't care!)

Raleigh's page

Conquering Mount Kinabalu

on 14/12/2010

Team Members:
Raleigh Borneo

Photos (5)
Video (0)

Other participants:

Raleigh Borneo

Raising money forRaleigh International Trust

Charity Registration No. 1047653

Raleigh expeditions inspire people from all walks of life, ages and nationalities to make a difference to communities and environments. Through adventure and challenge we help them reach their full potential as global citizens. Our vision is to awaken a sense of life-purpose and belonging, creating a united global community working together to rise to the challenges of the world we live in.

Page owner

Raleigh Borneo

Raised:164%

Target: £2,000.00
Raised so far: £3,290.00

Donate now

RESULTS

We raised a total of RM15,963.00 or £3290 through online and offline donations, all of which will go to the Raleigh Borneo HCV fund. A massive thanks to all who took part and contributed to the success of this fundraiser, including being such good sports by donning elf costumes during the climb, down to the bells on your boots!

A big “Thank you!” goes out to all who supported us in our event.

Borneo Divers

Shangri-La Rasa Ria Resort

JR Farmasi

Popular Express

Langkah Syabas Beach Resort

Sabah Parks

And all individual donors.

May all of you have a fantastic year ahead!

___

Raleigh is a UK charity that focuses on youth development, and has been operating in Sabah, a Malaysian state on the island of Borneo since 2002.

Thousands of volunteers from all over the world have since been coming to Sabah to develop life skills through working on community and environmental projects that have benefitted the communities and environments in Sabah. They have also had the chance to explore Sabah’s jungles and seas to learn to appreciate some of the world’s best natural environments.

Every year we recruit between 40 to 60 young Malaysians to be included in our expeditions. All participants are steered to recognise their own strengths and weaknesses, to develop confidence, as well as to gain key skills such as communication, team work, leadership and adaptability while on expedition.

It is undeniable that the skills that they learn on expedition have been a powerful enabler to make positive changes to their lives and to the lives of their community once they return from an expedition. Ten staff members from the United Kingdom and Malaysia will attempt to conquer Mount Kinabalu (4095.2m) this December as our fundraising campaign for our Host Country Venturer Programme, which enables young Malaysian participants to be a part of a once-in-a-lifetime learning experience. We are hoping to raise at least £2,000.00 for the programme, which will help us cover expedition costs for 2-3 Malaysian participants on a 10-week expedition. To make it interesting and to coincide with the festivities, they will be dressed as Santa and his Elves!

The climbers for this challenge are:

Debra Hay	Alumni and Individual Donor Manager, Raleigh HO
Sarah Hoare	Country Programme Manager, Raleigh Borneo (RB)
Tony Willetts	Head of Operations, Raleigh HO
Yolanda Graham	Recruitment, Support and Media Coordinator, Malaysia
Emma Parfey	Volunteer Manager - Administration (RB)
Edward Laschet	Volunteer Manager - Country Expedition Manager (RB)
Serge Neumand	Volunteer Manager - Deputy Programme Manager (RB)
Thomas Styles	Volunteer Manager - Logistics (RB)
Christopher Beer	Volunteer Manager - Logistics (RB)
Adam Hollingworth	Volunteer Manager - Photographer (RB)

The spinning ballerina

2011-10-12T17:26:00.001+08:00

You know her, Ms. Spinning Ballerina. You've probably seen her on a lot of websites, coaxing you to click on her so that she can tell you whether you are right-brained or left brained.

Apparently, if you see her spinning clockwise, then you use more of the right side of your brain. Your right brain jumps into action when you engage in feelings, when you've got things like religion and philosophy on your mind, or when you're using your imagination.

And if you see her spinning anti-clockwise, then you use more of your left. This is when you're using logic, solving math problems, and being nit-picky about details.

This used to drive me nuts, because I couldn't understand how anyone could see her spinning the other way round (I can't remember which way I saw her spinning but I'm probably more left-brained.)

And then, as ridiculous as this may sound, I tried switching between the two types of brain activity and it actually worked. I think of landscapes (imagination), family (feelings) and the meaning of life (haha, not really, but I needed an example for philosophy) and she spins clockwise, and when I add up numbers in my head she spins anti-clockwise.

Now she just drives me nuts - I wish she'd stop spinning!

Hierarchy in the Office

2011-10-06T15:07:00.000+08:00

It doesn’t apply to me now, but I remember the feeling when I just started out.

When you look up all you see are asshole, when you look down, all you see is shit.

On shopping and my body image

2011-10-04T12:58:00.000+08:00

It's another 3 weeks to payday.

Yes, I know the last pay day just came and went. I have many excuses:

I just moved here.
I now have to pay rent and had to put in a 2-month deposit as well.
I have had to buy new clothes as I am now working in the "corporate world".
There are many shiny, pretty things in KL that I NEED.
I underestimated my projected expenditures.
I overestimated my abilities to be sensible with my money for a whole 6 six weeks.

Clothes are at the top of my shopping list next month. Followed by a lot of other things, of course. Shoes, handbags, accessories, 4 tickets to STOMP (which cost a frickin' bomb, by the way. But I promised!)

I bought four outfits and two pairs of dress pants for work so far, and scraped together a couple of tops and a dress from my old wardrobe. I'm in my third week and already a bit bored with the same clothes.

It was hard work looking for outfits in my size, (I'm now a UK 16). I had lots of ideas of the kinds of outfits I wanted, and did come across lots of nice pieces in various shops. Unfortunately, most of them were for smaller people, and this observation has become my strongest motivation to lose weight. I looked in Marks and Spencers and BINGO! Not only did they have my size, they had skirts that ended just below the knee.

I have a few thoughts on shopping here, following my shopping "spree".

Fuck you, "Free Size"!

I may be big but contrary to Malaysian belief, looking cute is not restricted to sizes XS, S, M and L. and L being a UK size 8.

If Malaysians are so critical about clothes that reveal too much, I blame the shops. I could only find skirts that ended above the knee. Or higher.

In one of my newly-bought outfits

Why is it so hard to find clothes for bigger people? Especially sports wear. Someone needs to sell gym clothes for big people, okay? What are they supposed to wear to exercise? Underwear?

XXXL is a cruel, four-letter word. I prefer the number system, which is less discriminatory, and has standard measurements.

There seems to be a cultural gap between a lot of sales people and I. "Miss, you should wear black because it is slimming." Luckily, this was said to me at a time when I could find it amusing, but I do hope one day, an expat or tourist would slap them unconscious for being so rude. I have also been told, "Miss, if you lose 5 kilo, you can come back and try again." I'm sorry, I wasn't aware this was a modelling agency.

I think I had more, but those were my main annoyances.

It was about last year when I looked back and realised that when I was a UK size 10, I was considered a giant by those around me. When I was size 12, I was still a giant, and this time a fat one. Now, I'm going to ignore those opinions and say, "Fuck you, tiny Asians" and enjoy being whatever size I am.

Of course it would be nice to be slim and lean, but I'm a happier person when I appreciate what I have, and know that confidence will always be the right size.

Feng Huang

2011-10-01T12:37:00.000+08:00

All I ever hear about China is that its people are rude, and you never know what you might get served at restaurants there (e.g. Sweet and sour pork? Think again, this was the chef's sister in law/dog/rat!) But I've also heard that the views are stunning and that it can be an amazing experience.

A new friend, Jay Blakely, posted some photos of his recent visit to China and OMG, look!!! Aren't these views fantastic?!

Time to plan that holiday to China and experience that rude waiter serving dog meat myself!

The office.

2011-09-29T14:44:00.000+08:00

I liked the office the moment I got to the front door. The creamy yellow door is framed with a read wall, and the logo of the company, a toothy smile, is affixed high to the left of the door.

I walked 15 minutes to get to the office and up three flights of stairs, so I am panting and sweating. Classy. After a few seconds' rest, I ring the doorbell.

A man in sunglasses, about 40, answered the door. I thought nothing of it but as he sat down he apologised and explained that he had an eye infection. He introduces himself but does not say what he does. I later learn he is the office boy.

I tell him I'm going to take photos of the office for my mother (why I thought I had to lie I don't know) and proceeded to snap pictures around the office.

The walls are boldly coloured red and yellow (my favourite colours!) the deco had a mix of Balinese and Chinese influence. It made the place friendly and energetic and I like it!

Here's a peek into my office!

Blurred because I thought someone was coming in from the door behind me.

Every morning begins with reading a pile of papers! I was really quite happy to have avoided reading the dailies for quite a few years now, choosing independent online news over government-approved ditties, but hey, you gotta make some sacrifices.

It's day 8 at the office for me. It's all pretty relaxed for me, which I'm not used to. Where's the baptism of fire I usually get in week one of a new job? I've been told to enjoy the quiet, because there will be days that will be overwhelming. I await in sweet anticipation.

PXR

2011-08-30T16:42:00.002+08:00

Where I work, PXR stands for Post Expedition Report. Volunteer staff write one at the end of every expedition as handover notes for the next person who would be in the same shoes as them in a future expedition.

As I'm moving to another job, I am required to do a PXR for the person who will be taking over my desk. (We haven't got a replacement yet).

I am on page 6 of my PXR, about a third of the way through it, describing the roles and responsibilities of the recruitment component of my job.

It's heartbreaking. I've just realised the massive achievements and developments that I've been made over the past three years. Damn, I've worked hard.

Am I blowing my own horn? Damn straight I am. I deserve to give myself a big pat on the back for the things that I've done and kept quiet about because I thought it wasn't important enough to point out to my superiors. And I'm blowing my own horn because when I did get recognition and thanks, I just brushed it off because I didn't think my work deserved their generous thanks.

Fuck it, I need to go for a little cry now.

The time has come to to Galvanize

2011-08-18T12:29:00.003+08:00

I've moved away from the education line for over four years now and I'm pretty happy with the transition I've made since then.

Although I've got another job already lined up as my next leap into the unknown, I was pretty much straining to finally get that one offer. In the time that I was planning for my transition, I sent out at least three dozen applications and received only three call backs. I edited my resume a dozen times, got it reviewed by people in HR and researched how to make it a visually attractive document.

Still no call backs.

After doing some research, I discover I may be making some mistakes in my applications. Like not following up to re-assert my interest in the post I applied for (I did, a couple of times, with negative outcomes). I may also be aiming for jobs that require more experience than I actually have (I have four, they want five - but that's so close...) I'm not sourcing a job through people I know (In an effort to keep my move on the down low and also avoid cronyism I have also perhaps unwittingly avoided being recommended.)

Self Doubt seems to be the theme of my issues this year. I was, and still am, feeling a little stupid, and suspect that I may be a little delusional about my cover letter, my resume, myself and my capabilities. The I go into double doubting and triple doubting... ultimate outcomes of which are frustration and confusion. It all gets gloomier from there.

Yes, I've got a new job lined up, but it was harder than I'd like it to be.

I'd like an office like this, thanks.

In the words of the Chemical Brothers, the time has come to Galvanize. I'm looking into furthering my studies to strengthen my credentials and capabilities. Furthering education may not be for everyone, I know a bunch of people who do well without much more than a secondary /high school education either for lack of opportunity or because of a lack of interest. Consequently some struggle to get up the ladder, others almost unfairly make it look so easy.

For me, I want it. I see the benefits more than I do the struggles that would come with it (balancing work and study, costs) I think I would actually enjoy studying again.

Next step is to check out my best options. Malaysian university degree, private university degree or an online degree? Any thoughts?

The Wilting Elephant Patch.

2011-08-12T09:31:00.000+08:00

This is what my little elephant pot of grass (sounds so wrong) looks like today.

Home is Where the Heart Is

2011-08-11T16:42:00.000+08:00

It's a phrase I've heard a thousand times. But when it came on the radio this morning it was like I'd heard it for the first time.

Home is where the heart is.

All this time I thought it meant that your heart will always be at home. Where you grew up. Where you went to school. Where your parents bought your family home. That place where you lived the longest, had the most memories, the place where you developed a sentimental connection to, that's where your heart is.

So, stupid as it sounds, whenever I lived in another place, and I didn't feel like I wanted to go home, I felt guilt. Is it me, or is it when you say you prefer another place other than your home town, people judge you a little bit? "But Yo, home is where your heart is."

Maybe it was the way she said it, or maybe it was my typical reaction to an advice I thought was telling me how I should feel. This morning, I noticed she didn't say, "Home is where your heart is supposed to be."

Ladies and gentlemen, children all over the world, if all this time you've been reading it the way I have, I want to tell you that today the wind blew past my ears a different way and I heard, "Home is where your HEART is".

Home is really where your heart tells you you should be. Home is where your heart wants to go. Home is what your heart desires. Home is the place you long for. Home is the place you wish you could be forever.

If your heart happens to desire where you were born and bred, so be it. But it's not always the case.

Elephant patch

2011-08-11T11:54:00.002+08:00

I bought one of these from Kaison. I've always wanted one but never found any with a pot I liked. I think he cost RM4.90.

July 16

July 20

July 21

24th July

The grass grew about an inch taller after that.

On the 8th of August the grass began to wither. Will post a picture up of what it looks like today tomorrow.

Snaps

2011-08-10T13:28:00.002+08:00

Jujubear, my housemate/best friend's dog. When Emma Thompson met Joobie, she said she wished her dog was as cute as her.

H. Our current volunteer accounts manager. She, another volunteer and I were ordered to go out and have a nice lunch, so we went to Sushi Tei.

Donuts. I made them. And I actually prefer spelling them as 'doughnuts'.

The tailor at the bottom of the escalator that is never turned on at Kompleks Karamunsing. The escalator, not the tailor.

Company cars. The cost of repair for one can cost more than my second-hand car.

Always buy square shaped presents because this cost me 40 minutes of my life.

This is better viewed in real life. Such a beautiful day in such a beautiful setting. It was like I was somewhere over the rainbow or the likes.

Also better viewed in real life. Especially when the sun is descending into it.

This dog hates me. I must not accidentally step on it.

Siang Siang Pan Mein. For hangover noodles.

Time to make a move

2011-08-10T12:54:00.001+08:00

I've just counted with the fingers on my right hand and was surprised to find all four of my fingers as well as my thumb extended (and my palm stained with some sort of purple ink).

I was adding up the years that I've spent in KK after ten years of being away at college and work elsewhere.

Five years. I don't believe it. So I counted with my left hand. Wow, I've survived being in one place for more than three years and not died of boredom.

Well there's only one reason that could've happened: it's been an eventful five years. I could list the nitty gritty of what's made it colourful, but my memory isn't really that great and and am not really bothered to fight this writer's block that my hangover has caused.

But more seriously, the highlight and most valuable summary of the last five years is that I've learned so much about myself and my country, and I've learned to appreciate KK more than I did in the first 17 years of my life.

And now it's time to make a move again. I'll be heading to greener pastures in September for a breath of fresh air (ironic, huh - since KL is all concrete and pollution!) and a new beginning.

I'm excited.

Don't forget to be happy

2011-07-08T15:07:00.003+08:00

I sat back in my chair, relieved and pleased to have completed the final task for the week, and inspired by the fact that, in under 6 hours, it will be Friday night, and the weekend would be here.

Life is good.

Then I started to think about the banes of my life. The lack of the prospect of career advancement. The non-boyfriend. My fat thighs. The list of miseries was so long that in the end I came to a different conclusion: fuck it, life sucks.

Silence in my head, and then, "Am I avoiding happiness?" Why else would I follow up a wonderful thought with a list of why I wipe that smile off my soul?

I encounter a fair share of people who live the good life. They seem to have everything: great jobs, good spouses, money in their pockets... and yet, they still manage to Eeyore it through life.

Don't be a donkey.

Okay, so people will never be satisfied, it's a fact of life. But I'm writing this to say, to you and me, despite the messes in your lives: don't forget to be happy.

I love this list of facts about happiness I found while I was analysing myself. A useful fact on that list: The most powerful way to increase your long-term feelings of happiness is to understand your strengths and talents, or life purpose, and to work on sharing those parts of yourself with others.

"You know, to be successful, you have to be a little bit selfish"

2011-07-04T12:31:00.001+08:00

I had a meeting with a university professor this morning we were talking about getting his students involved with expeditions with my organisation.

When I told him I wanted to do a introductory presentation at the university, he practically leapt out of his chair as he said, "Brilliant!" Never mind that I've been trying to do a presentation there for the past two years, but that's another story. After his little bounce of energy, he put his hand on his chin and looked silently at the left corner of his desk.

Then he looked up at me and said, "You know, to be successful, you have to be a little bit selfish." He wanted me to do the presentation only to his faculty.

What he said echoed in my mind, like it was cruel. Selfish? Never! Goodness and honesty prevail! The good always win! Die, you evil antagonist!

But I'm not stupid, I know he is totally right, no matter how you define success.

Life is lived for yourself. Without a little selfishness there would be no satisfaction and sense of accomplishment. I don't know if anyone can say that they do what they do without an ounce of selfishness in their intentions. (And if you think you can, speak to me, and I will squeeze the ugly truth out of you.)

The key words, though, are "a little".

When I said I'd hoped to do a presentation to all of the university, he seemed a little disappointed, but only for a split second. He then said, "I will speak to the vice-chancellor and set a date for you!" A true star. His offer surprised me especially after he said that thing about success.

He did it out of belief in our work, but I've no doubt that he's doing with a smidgen of selfishness in there somewhere. Like I said, the key words are "a little".

Another step to a new normal

2011-07-01T11:15:00.000+08:00

Updates!

I've probably been up to more than I think I have, work swallowing up the most of my time.

However, I recently decided to move out of the communal abode of field base, where I'd spent the last 2 years and 8 months working, living and sharing with 8-30 people all year round.

In retrospect, I find myself thinking two things: 1. How the hell did I do it? and 2. WHYYY?

Actually, I can remember the reasons I decided to stay at field base. I lived at home in the first month of starting work with R and found myself feeling left out of the loop whenever I came into work the next morning. Expedition is 24/7 for 13 weeks, and so when you leave the office for 16 hours, a lot would have happened. I would get updates that were considered important, but I also wanted to know the smaller stories that people wouldn't necessarily feel essential to pass on, yet talk about with enthusiasm and scandal.

Things improved greatly when I moved in. there was a lot more opportunity to bond with my colleagues: hear gossip first hand, eat together, argue about which movie to watch at the end of the day, but more seriously, be involved with work as and when needed.

I did it for 2 years and 5 months and suddenly I felt the appeal of it all ebbing away. I began to wonder what it was like to change without someone suddenly walking into the room. I wondered if my shampoo would last longer if I'd lived alone. What was it like to be able to leave work at 5.00pm on the dot?

And after a good amount of consideration, I've moved out to live with my best friend and two very cute dogs. I have reason to leave my desk at 5.00pm. We have a t.v. and PlayStation. I no longer hold in my pee until the bathroom is free. There is a jogging track I will use one day. There is a jogging track I will use one day.

Of course there are things that I miss from the kibbutz life, but I can’t help but feel like I’ve dipped my toe into a pool of normalcy, and I think I might dive in.

Facebook, twitter, blog

2011-06-07T19:08:00.001+08:00

I'd been contemplating whether or not to add an ex to my facebook for over three weeks. I finally did today, but I'm still unsure if I want him to be able to have access to what facebook would reveal about my life.

I tweeted this, to which a friend said that my facebook revealed little, but my tweets were "like sitting with the legs of your soul wide open".

Holy crap. You try not to be horrified at this revelation.

I have a facebook account so I can keep in touch with friends and family and I'd like to think I only add people who I'd genuinely like to keep in touch with. Nevertheless, my friends list is a bit bulky at almost a thousand friends, family, colleagues and ex-colleagues. I don't like to be beige on my status updates but I try to be careful with what I say.

With my twitter account, I'm a little more liberal about ranting. I'm one of those who needs an outlet or two to vent emotions, and I feel I'm allowed to a relatively short list of 70 followers, most of which I'm pretty sure don't give two lollipops what I say on there.

But me? Soul-baring?

I never thought I was the soul-baring type. When it comes to venting frustrations, I get as daring as spelling out grunts and telling people off in sarcastic sentences because I have no guts to say it to their face. Opinions? I spew them out in watery 140 character sentences. When it comes to personal emotional shapes, I don't know if I trust every one of those 70 followers, so I tweet annoying, cryptic messes. My blog has more words but I'm not sure I'd tell all on my blog either.

I protested at his comment and he clarified that if you read enough of my tweets you catch the rare up-skirt shot.

Until I know why I feel bad about revealing me, I think I'll stick to tweeting about what I ate for breakfast!

London: After This One, I'll Shut Up

2011-06-06T14:58:00.001+08:00

Ok, this will be the final post of my recent trip to the UK. I've been back for a week now and it feels it like the trip was a million years ago and yet I haven't finished talking about it. So this will be my final post, and then I'll go back to my regular posts of complaining and whining.

I left the last post off at work week at our Waterloo office. We had some "organised fun" during the week, which is so good for keeping things fun and friendly. We went to the Comedy Store in Soho, which was ace.

Sarah, Pip and me on the way to the Comedy Store in Soho

I'd never gone to a live comedy show before and I was advised by Mark, a colleague, on the two things that you should never ever do when at such shows, if you didn't want to get picked by the comedians on stage:

1. Sit in the front row
2. Go to the toilet in the middle of a show

Mark obviously thought these two rules were sacred, because when Theja got up to go to the toilet, he was horrified and tried to make her sit back down. She basically gave him a look as if to say "I'll pee on your face if you don't loosen your death grip", and so she was allowed to sneak to the ladies' to relieve herself.

The show was in a "Whose Line Is It Anyway" sort of format and was very entertaining (as it should be). The thing is with these shows though, is that cultural references are inevitable and there were parts of it where I had no idea who or what they were talking about. But yes, I laughed anyway. Didn't want them to pick on me for not laughing, and I tried hard to make sure I laughed at the right parts. It could've been quite hard to do as the two guys sitting behind me laughed at absolutely every line.

Next highlight was the Rugby Sevens at Twickenham. I've never been to a football match before but I was told rugby matches were a lot more fun. People are less fanatic about rugby and no one's going to beat up anyone if they lose/win/are ugly.

In fact on the way there we saw people in all sorts of costumes. Being in "fancy dress" has got to be a British past time or something because they are keen to look silly at every possible event. At work we do it at least three times a year, NOT including Halloween and other festive occasions.

There there were cross-dressers, pirates, nurses, Baywatch lifeguards, jailbirds, people in beachwear, and lots of random costumes. At one point in the game, three streakers ran in to the field and gyrated at the crowd. The security people let them do their thing for a while and then arrested them as they came off the field.

Rugby is a fun game to watch if only for the reason that it's so manly and filled with burly men!

At the finals South Africa beat Fiji to win the cup.

The last highlight is when I went to the Tate Modern. I make it a point to go to the Tate Modern when I go to London (well, I've been to London three times and if I don't go I feel as if I lose out on something). The first time I went it was 11 years ago when it first opened. The very first thing I saw on exhibit on my first visit was a glass of water on a shelf, and it has stuck in my mind since.

I've just Googled it and here it is:

It's called An Oak Tree and was created by Michael Craig-Martin in 1973. The display caption for it said: While this appears to be a glass of water on a shelf, the artist states that it is in fact an oak tree. Craig-Martin’s assertion addresses fundamental questions about what we understand to be art and our faith in the power of the artist. The work can be seen as an exploration of Marcel Duchamp’s declaration that any existing object can be declared a work of art. In his accompanying text, Craig-Martin provides the questions as well as the answers, allowing the simultaneous expression of scepticism and belief regarding the transformative power of art.

I just thought it was so clever. Here's some of what I saw on this visit:

This was on here last year as well and had something to do with industrialisation.

Words streamed through this display and I couldn't really tell if they were supposed to mean anything. I just knew if I didn't look away soon I was going to vomit.

Warhol. I love this.

This was just a block with a slab of glass on the front of it, which created the mirror effect. In the reflection you can see work from the opposite wall, my crazy friend Dom and me.

This wasn't an art exhibit. There was a section closed off with a see-through screen and I thought it looked quite good so I took a photo of it.

I have nothing to wear!

We saw so many pieces, some fascinating, some questionable, that made me think back to school. I bet if I had made something like this and sent it in, my art teacher would be so pissed and think I was mocking her.

L'escargot by Matisse. Seriously, I don't think Puan Chang would have appreciated this if it came from me.

Victor Pasmore's Stromboli. I can just hear my art teacher's high pitched voice calling me to the front in irritation: Yolandaaaaa!!!

Outside the Tate Modern it was raining and the rain made these views:

St. Paul's Cathedral and the Millennium Bridge

On the Millennium Bridge

The Tate Modern. It used to be a power plant.

I really enjoyed the Tate Modern and would definitely go there every chance I get. I also went to an exhibition that was in a room the size of a classroom, which was so odd I found it so posh and refined. It was an exhibition of a rare selection of work from Egon Schiele, samples of which you can see here.

Well, that's it with the highlights of my trip to London. I was there for a long time but at the same time it wasn't long enough.

It was so good to see friends, see my uncle and cousins, have beer in the park, get seasick, get caught in the rain, fall into a pond, sit on the top deck of a double decker, squish myself into the tube, cook for people, have a big Sunday roast, eat full English breakfasts, enjoy the sunshine, go hiking and chase rabbits, meet up with old and new colleagues, shop at Primark and Poundland, watch endless episodes of Come Dine With Me and Location, Location, Location, line up to the bar, down some ales, go outside to smoke, play, laugh, gossip with the girls...

Now I'm sad and nostalgic about the whole thing! It was lots of fun. I'm looking forward to my next trip to London, whenever that may be.

London: Now where was I?

2011-05-29T16:38:00.000+08:00

Argh! Can't believe I'll be home in just a couple of days!

I will miss being a bum in London, but I'm actually looking forward to going home. Thankfully, this trip has been the step back I needed to look at my life. Good timing. It was all just getting to be a bit too much; I was truly at the point of bursting a vein.

Anyway, that's another story, I'm here to blog about this rather awesome trip.

I went sailing. Enough said. But I'll say some more. We sailed on a yacht called Valkyrie from Chichester to near Portsmouth, and then moored at Itchenor. I have no knowledge of sailing but Captain Dan had no choice but to look at me as his deckhand as there was only two of us! I suppose I was enough, we survived.

Me-wise, all was well except for the last couple of hours where I truly felt like I was going to spew like I've never spewed before from sudden seasickness! I wondered if I'd sailed enough in my life I would get used to choppy seas. I even had to abandon my just-opened can of beer because it would've sent me over the side of the boat. Staying very still in the fresh air with my eyes on the horizon helped me keep it all inside though.

We went to the Ship Inn for dinner and ales and then slept on the yacht, and then sailed back to Chichester the next day.

Chichester

Itchenor

Inside the yacht

And then it was time for my work week at head office. Here's a photo of my colleague Theja from India and me at the entrance to HO.

It was an inspiring week at work with various presentations from around the world and team-building and skill-sharpening workshops. I'm truly grateful that I work in an organisation FULL of awesome people working together towards awesome goals.

While I was at Waterloo I stayed at the Union Jack, up on the 21st floor and this was what I woke up to every morning!

Right, I would love to blog more but I need to make my way to my Uncle's for lunch.

Will be back soon for a quick final update.

London: Still talking about London

2011-05-18T06:24:00.002+08:00

And then on Saturday, the 1st May, I went to Clapham Common to meet with ex-volunteers from the Sept-Dec expedition last year.

We went to a pub called the Windmill and it had a big beer garden, which basically means that you can sit outside on picnic tables and enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. Again, the sun was shining, but this time the wind was waging against the sun and it was cold. We moved to sit on the Common (sort of like a park) and then gave up and went back to the pub and indoors, but I managed to get a couple of pictures of us looking like we're having fun. (And we were!)

This was also the day that Osama bin Laden got killed, which I found out the next day. Mixed reactions inked the newspapers. Many praised the accomplishment, claiming the world to now be a safer place. I don't know if this was the best thing to happen, much of the world is still violent and ugly, but I can see how it feels like a satisfying blow against the Al-Qaeda. Yeah, take that ya bastards.

But on the next day people abruptly stopped laughing for fear of retaliation. The Al Qaeda is scary like that.

On Tuesday I cooked for R and her family as a gesture of thanks for letting me stay in their nice house and eat their food. And in just over 2 hours I came up with:

Egg fried rice with sweet and sour fish and stir-fried sugar snap peas with prawns. Also made a mushroom and corn egg drop soup. I was nervous at first, my dinner guests were well travelled and had had plenty of good food from around the world, you see. But dinner was marked with plenty of "Mmmm"s accompanied by widened eyes and then clean plates.

That night was definitely one of my highlights. It makes me want to cook for the world.

I'm afraid Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason has just come on TV and it's making me want to sign off!

Will be back with more updates, of course.

London: A quick Update Part 2

2011-05-16T20:56:00.001+08:00

Hello, I'm shit at updating my blog. But can I say it's because I'm having fun?

It's been 3.5 weeks since I arrived and I have but 2 weeks left before I go back, and to be honest, when I think of getting on that plane I feel like this:

To many of my colleagues, the expedition is their bubble away from the world, their safe place from real life. My current bubble is this trip, and like it or not it's going to pop come end of May.

Life is not horrible, and I shouldn't be dreading it as much I am, but my mind is made up and I now want different things.

**
Last night we were watching CSI (I miss having a t.v.!) and the girlfriend of one of the guys said something about how between school and her job she's pretty much done nothing stupid and had some living to do (or something like that).

Which is what I was thinking. But I can't think of any 'living' things to do. Any suggestions?

See, that's how boring I am. Can't think of anything to do.

And. I have had some suggestions from people on what I could do. But. I find myself not able to do them because in the end I have no guts to do them or would not feel good about doing them. Principles, rationality and all that crap. Honestly, I frustrate myself like that.

***

In happier news, I'm enjoying everything about London.

The parks, the pubs, the Tube, the temperature (except when the sun is blazing), the daily dose of beer and wine, the company.

After the music festival, I woke up the next morning to catch the royal wedding on t.v. Couldn't miss out on this as I easily give in to media build ups and thought it was too iconic to miss (much like why I watch Harry Potter movies - not really interested, but I'd still go see it). Whether or not you watched the coverage, topic of conversations would revolve around the wedding. People who made a point of missing it would have to explain what they did instead, with an underlying smug satisfaction that they've turned a cold shoulder on such an over-rated event and then you had those who would delight in discussing two heartfelt kisses on the balcony and all the hat shapes, including one that looked like a vagina, that made it to the wedding.

I went on the hike in from Berwick to Birling Gap. There were 7 of us and we hiked for 11 miles in the sunshine through fields, little towns and the Seven Sisters, and it was a feast for my eyes. I felt very much like a character in one of Enid Blyton's books, especially when we stopped in a field of buttercups for lunch, I saw bunny rabbits chasing each other in the fields and got smuggler's dens perched on the side of hills pointed out to me.

I was exhausted by the end of 11 miles, and we still had 4 miles to go before we got to Eastbourne, so imagine my jubilation that at our stop at the Birling Gap had a cafe AND a bus stop! Eastbourne was where we needed to go to get our trains back to London but I could not imagine being able to get there in time, so I said to the rest I'd meet them there as I'll be taking the bus - to which there was almost a cheer of joy from the rest - they were exhausted too and the bus was a great idea. Phew. So we got a bus to Eastbourne and had fish and chips by the sea.

I'm afraid that's all the time and energy I have for blogging today, and this only covers the two days following the music festival!

I should have more free time in the next few days and hope to do more updates then. In the mean time, it's time to heat up some curry for lunch!

London: A Quick Update Part 1

2011-05-02T22:08:00.001+08:00

So I've been in London for a week and three days, which means I only have exactly 4 weeks left! Gah! Time flies when you're having fun and all that!

It's been a fun week and a half, my schedule has been filled with meet ups with family and friends in various locations around England.

After Jim's I went to stay with my uncle in Forest Gate for the Easter weekend. I'm the luckiest girl on earth - or maybe just in my family - I'm the only one to have met all of my cousins on my dad's side, and this is the third time I will have had to hang out with the Booths.

Some photos from that weekend:

There was a funfair across the road

Sunday lunch at my cousin's house: Before

After. So yummy!

After the weekend, it was time to move on to Ruthie's. But then there was an impromptu meeting at Regent's Park with a few friends, so I met Ruthie at Regent's Park tube station and off we went to sit in one of London't most beautiful parks on one of London's most sunny days with .

Regent's Park was happily busy as it was a bank holiday weekend

The next day I had another day in the park, St. James' Park this time, to meet friends I made on the most recent expedition. It was another sunny day in England and I was beginning to wonder why people complained about the weather so much! But I've been told that the warm and sunny weather is unusual, especially in April, so again, I'm very lucky, this time with the weather.

On the Wednesday Sandra came over and we had a sleepover. Ruthie is such an amazing cook, so I've been lucky with food as well. She's been working from home so that means she's been cooking our lunches, and on Sandra's sleepover she made tuna steaks with asparagus and avocado salsa. We had good food, good wine and good laughs, talking about clothes, shoes and boys - so indulgently girly!

On Thursday I met up with more friends, this time at a music festival called Land of Kings. Not the typical music festival setting in a field, but in a little town called Dalston instead. It was a particularly Turkish part of London, so I had my first Turkish meal - I had lamb beyti, it was shaped like an extra long sausage and was tasty and spicy, served with rice and cous cous. Sedaaap!

Lamb beyti

We saw two bands perform - Bleeding Heart Narrative and Django Django - and both bands were very entertaining and enjoyable. Our table was right in front of the stage, that if I leaned forward, I would be able to touch the singer. For some reason their performances made me feel nostalgic and all student-y again!

For the rest of the night we basically bar hopped around participating bars. Most of them featured DJs rather than live bands and we enjoyed ourselves. Unfortunately our night was shorter than planned - the final stop, the Havana Club was closed at 1am. So we made way for home. And the early night turned out to be a good thing as the N35 did not appear and after all the waiting our alternative route home brought us back at 3am!

A printing station at the Havana Club - they printed and gave out souvenir cloth bags.

The Havana Club - DJ on the console

Ok, taking a break now to make myself a mug of coffee, but I'll be back in a bit for part 2.

London: day 1, hour 1.

2011-04-24T18:01:00.001+08:00

Hello all, just a quick update on my visit to London so far.

The weather is ace! I was frantically shopping for a warm coat before my trip but couldn't find one. FOS had a couple of nice one jackets but none in my size (typical) so I was worried that I'd be shivering once I got to Heathrow 4 at 10pm. Got my cardigan and scarf ready just in case.

But when I stepped out into the outdoors, the temperature was perfect. Like I would want it - air conditioning outside. Apparently the temperature was about 20-22C. I wasn't sweaty and sticky.

Jim borrowed Crispin's little purple car to pick me up, a car that will never be stolen because it's little and mostly because it's purple. We got to Jim's cabin and had beers and chatted 'til 2am.

I actually enjoy telling people the next bit.

Jim's cabin doesn't have an attached bathroom. You have to go to the house which is just next door to get to the bathroom and I decided that was too much effort. Being a Raleigh girl, I can pee anywhere and thought the garden was good enough. Jim agreed. He said he does it all the time, and so do some of his guests. After one beer it was time. So he told me to go from the front to the side of the cabin, and go past the decking and there will be a spot where I can go.

So out I went. Round the side. Walk, walk, walk. See some decking. Can make out a dark square patch. Grass? Dirt? Don't know, need to pee, needtopee, needtopee. Left leg down. Aaaaand splash!

Needless to say it was a nasty shock! So nasty it was funny. I got out, thoroughly soaked in pond water and scum, laughing by myself in the weak glow of the sensor light coming from the side of the house, wondering how the hell I was going to sneak back in to the 8ft x 8ft cabin without Jim noticing!

I couldn't.

Next time, if you decide to go pee in Jim's garden, watch out for the pond, ok?

Jim made us a delicious full English breakfast the next morning, and we sat outside in the warm morning sunshine to enjoy it.

Blissful. What a great start to my visit, even if I did fall into a pond!

Then it was time for me to head to my uncle's place and Jim to head to his parent's. As fate would have it we were heading the same way and took travelled together all the way to my stop in Leyton as he went on to his stop at Newbury Park.

It seems I've managed to escape jetlag, going to bed at about 10 or 11pm every night. I've enjoyed hanging out with my uncle and cousins for the past two days, doing nothing but eating, chatting and retelling my pond episode to anyone who'd listen (thanks, David!)

Today I head to my cousin John's place for Easter lunch and I cant wait! Good food, good company and plenty of sunshine. hopefully no pond.

Here are some pics that I've taken on my Sony K80i (I don't currently own a camera.) More updates to come. 'Til then, here are pics of Jim's place, the pond and our breakfast:

Elections - why they won again.

2011-04-17T14:44:00.000+08:00

In the past months leading up to the elections in Sarawak, all sorts of dirt had been revealed regarding the condescension and mistreatment of the people of the state under the leadership of the Sarawakian Chief Minister and the ruling party. The reaction of outrage and renunciation of the deceitful government was, in the eyes of optimists, a sign of resolute change. People across the nation, tired of the tyranny of the ruling government, kept watch, prayed and rooted for the opposition's victory in the state that wasn't their own.

But all the pre-election drama has only resulted in the re-election of the same ol' same ol'. I am not surprised, but I am still disappointed. Despite the good fight that the opposition parties have put up, the "oppressors" have yet again won, but it's not as simple an explanation as they won again because the people want them.

So, if the people didn't want them, how did they win?

1. The people who hear: "Vote for us and we will give you two lawnmowers for your football field." Poverty and Desperation. And Ignorance. A vast majority of the people of Sabah and Sarawak live in conditions so poor that a promise like this is enough to win their hearts. Their remote locations and lack of access to media not controlled by the government means that all that they get is what they are told they can get. Occasionally the authorities will come in and build them a bridge, or 50 metres of a concrete road at the end of a 4-hour off road journey into their village.

A deed is followed swiftly by messages and speeches by the leaders, reminding them how unbelievable privileged they are for this utility, that the villagers should be so grateful they must bow down and worship and vote for them the next time. All their requests for other developments will be heard (Done is another story). And we will give you a lawnmower for your football field on top of that. Otherwise the opposition will lead them astray and all their world will turn into the post-apocalypse world of ash and rubble. Or something similar.

It's easy for people like me to identify bullshit because we've experienced it ourselves, we've see it happening to others and we hear about it from all sorts of media. But when you are living in the middle of no where, and the only sound is what you hear from neighbouring villagers who have just been granted a facility they have been asking for for a decade, and your district office is a minion of the government, I can see why voters will go back to the same ol' same ol'. Just like how a wife will stay with her abusive husband.

So I cannot laugh and point at Sarawak for voting the same guys again, and say to them you get the government you deserve. It just means we have to work harder at opening eyes.

2. The people who say "vote for us and we will give you two lawnmowers for your football field." Bribery and Corruption. While the previous point was made from personal observations, here's something that I read today revealing the other gifts that come out of the woodwork only at election time.

* The power of incumbency
Conservative estimates suggest that the BN spent more than RM500 million on these hotly contested elections. Last night, the going rate in Miri was RM1,000 per identity card and apparently RM7,000 in Ba’Kelalan.
In addition to cold cash, the BN election machinery was supported by the impressive government machinery, from Kemas officials watching over longhouses to education officials working the ground.
Even the government-linked companies were out in full force in Sarawak, doling out gifts and opening bank branches, etc.
The point is that when PR go to battle, they are up against Umno, MCA, SUPP, PBB, Maybank, Utusan Malaysia, New Straits Times, PDRM, EC, Pos Malaysia, AirAsia, etc.

Full article "Five things We Learned in Sarawak" here.

This is the culture that we have been taught, that we have lived, and need to say a determined "no" to.

I feel like I'm writing about abusive relationships. Not too different, methinks.

Ok my next point in why they won again. In shorter sentences.

3. Who the hell are we supposed to vote for? Choosing the lesser evil. The dilemma with many voters is the doubt in opposing parties. Shall I vote for this imbecile or that idiot? The sex pest or the pervert? The racist or the supremacist? Maybe I'll stick to who I know, at least I know it's expected and won't get any surprises.

I suppose I get this dilemma. But I also get that voting for the other guys is a statement. It says, I don't like you any more because you haven't treated me right and I'm finding another ~~boyfriend~~ government. It will also say the same thing to the opposition: "And if YOU don't treat me right, I will vote you out too."

4. They're okay what. They treat me right. The Malaise-ian. It's sad, but true. Witnessing this attitude makes be believe that the 1Malaysia slogan is just a slogan with flat tyres. Many bandwagoners will see the 1Malaysia vehicle and will not acknowledge the fact it is not really going anywhere.

(And okay, before you kill me for the next paragraph, they are not my personal opinions/accusations. They are generalisations for the purpose of the illustration of my point.)

The Chinese will vote for a Chinese-led party, they'll take care of themselves and most probably mostly themselves. The Malays will vote for the Muslim-centric government, because voting otherwise will mean they are traitors to their religion. The Indians - well in Sarawak there aren't many Indians, so there isn't really a strong Indian-led party, and and since they've lived an okay life under the current guys, might as well vote for them again. Okay what.

Er, that's great, but you're being selfish bastards. Or maybe you are just blinded as needed. There are over 5 million people in your own country who don't fall into the racial categories fit for use in tv commercials who do not need your pity but your sympathy.

***

There. I said it.

A little bit artistic

2011-04-09T13:00:00.002+08:00

On this expedition, for the first time ever on our expeditions, we had an artist role filled in as a volunteer staff. H taught art at school but as many artists are, she had many other creative talents; she is also in a band that is due for a tour in the UK this summer. I am not an artist but I appreciate art, and I was very excited for this new element in expedition.

One of the many projects that she had set for our volunteers was postcards. Each group was given a box of art supplies and some postcard-sized drawing paper and everyone was encouraged to create something on this piece of paper when they are not working on their main project. At the end of expedition (happening now) the postcards have been put up on a wall for everyone to see. The volunteers can pick and choose which postcard they'd like to take home as a souvenir.

The staff at fieldbase was also encouraged to do a postcard and so I did one as well.

I am pleased to say that out of the hundreds of postcards made, only about 15 were chosen (the last time I looked), and someone liked my postcard!

At school I was never known or acknowledged to have potential in art (I would say I was so average I was ignorable), so I would like to say to the Malaysian education system and my teachers: IN YOUR FACE.

Heh.

I would also like to thank my late dad for passing on to me a smidgen of his artistic gene.

Last Week's Highlights

2011-04-04T12:51:00.000+08:00

I managed to squeeze in a fun night out on the beach last week, and attended the Power to the People Party at Tanjung Aru First Beach.

I'd been looking forward to attend this party, first of all because it was to celebrate the cancellation of the build of an unwanted coal plant in Sabah. The people of Sabah had been fighting for over two years to get this project scrapped, and with much hard work and struggle, the people won the fight and the Chief Minister issued a statement saying that they would pursue alternative sources of power.

I think it was Land Empowerment Animals People (LEAP) who organised this party on the beach, and what a turn out! There were lots of booths manned by various organisations championing their cause: the Atkinson Clock Tower campaign, the SPCA, the Bornean Sun Bear Conservation Centre, Sabah Women's Action-Resource Group, the KK International Film Fest, and a few more. A couple of DJs made sure the atmosphere was pumping with party tunes. To add to the buzz there were a few high-energy activities held on stage and on the beach, like capoeira, ultimate frisbee, zumba and shallow water surfing. A few food and drink stalls available, a couple of second hand-goods stalls gave people more to browse through and spend some dosh as well. According to LEAP, about a thousand people came to celebrate. Now THAT'S a party.

Capoeira

Food stall

An exhibit on organic fertilisation

Traditional booze served in bamboo cups

Traditional woven products from the Kadazan tribe.

The SPCA

Cupcakes

Richard and the Atkinson Clock Tower

As I don't have a camera myself, these have been taken from Sue's facebook album (one of the organising committee members).

I did take a few photos on my 3 mega pixel camera:

The sunset. Can't get enough of these.

Ian. Caught on camera by surprise. He said to take another one 'cause he probably looked camp in this one so I took another one:

Much better

Zumba.

The party was enough to be the highlight of the week for me and then it got better. I'd only been there for about 10 minutes when in the distance I saw a familiar face, and nearly burst in excitement when I realised who she was. Emma Thompson was walking through the crowd in my direction. The people I was with seemed to know her like they were buddies (she'd been in town for a few days holidaying with her family), so when she came over she was introduced to me quickly. It happened so fast I didn't have time to pee in my pants. I was so star-struck and even when she stopped talking to me I was just hanging around her, absorbing her presence while she talked to Wong about sun bears. I also texted a few people saying that I'm with Emma Thompson at the moment but received few excited replies. It was the1st April so I don't blame them. I then went to get Sel and Mel (had to convince them I wasn't joking first) and after gawking and getting over our luck and disbelief, we finally took a photo with her.

Sel, me, Emma and Mel

She was so nice! Meeting Emma Thompson definitely made our day, our week, our year, and possibly for Sel, her life!

Wheeee!

Good things come to those who wait!

2011-04-01T15:47:00.000+08:00

I just have to wait a little bit more.

Been daydreaming about the next couple of months, and who can blame me. Work has been stressful (for once) and I'm in need of a good break, and I have that to look forward to in two weeks!

The break will start with our staff party on an island that happens every end of expedition. Although this will be the 10th time I'll have been to Pulau Tiga, I still look forward to it with the same amount of excitement as I did the first time. With all the hard work we put in, being on a secluded island with good company and an ample supply of booze is SUCH a good reward!

I can already imagine myself in the clear blue waters with a beer in my hand, asking awful 'would you rather' questions!

And then, not long after that, I will be on an aeroplane, on an 18 hour flight to London! I'm looking forward to seeing friends and family, but there are a couple of exciting things lined up for the 5 weeks I'll be there for.

Ok, my heart is actually beating a little faster. I think the fourth coffee of the day might be part of the blame :P

I'll be wasting no time at all with jetlag and all of that nonsense. Arriving at 10pm will be perfect for going straight to bed and waking up absolutely refreshed and fine the next day. I'm spending Easter weekend with my relatives there and am so excited about this! Must remember to take my running shoes with me as my uncle is an absolute fiend in the kitchen and I know there will be yummy curries and briyanis to be had.

Not sure whose family this is but I picture our Easter lunch to be similar in appearance!

Some of my friends are getting together to organise a hike around Cuckmere Haven and Beacy Head and after the hike, we'll be sitting down in Brighton for some well deserved beers! I can't wait!

I'm also excited about going sailing on a little yacth. Yatch. Yacht. I asked D if there were any skills I'll need to learn for this weekend boat trip. He said drink beer and look cool. Already a pro at that so we're all set!

Then it's a week at work at Waterloo, and although the universal notion of work for normal people (including colleagues) is 'boring' and 'blech', I'm looking forward to this too. Well thank goodness I'm slightly nuts, 'cause then I'll be enjoying the weeks instead of dreading it!

Waterloo Station

I will also be going to the Rugby Sevens World Series in Twickenham while I'm there! I'm not a big sports fan, but it's not because I'm disinterested. I'm definitely not going to be disinterested when it's going to be a sport with big burly men running around in shorts.

I can't wait :)

I ate too much. Again.

2011-03-13T21:18:00.001+08:00

Just a little rant after overeating at dinner.

I eat way too much, especially when I'm starving. If I'm snacking in between meals, portion control is no problem. It's the long wait in between meals that lead me to gorge on food until it feels like I'm bursting at the seams. And it seems like I'm always bursting at the seams, and in reality, even if I have been snacking! Doesn't help if the food is a) delicious and b) if I eat out, the portions are huge. I'm from the school of thought that you have to finish everything on your plate, waste not want not and all that.

Another thing is that I'm lenient with myself. I spent 3 months monitoring my food intake and really, I don't eat that many calories. If I exercised everyday, I'd be leaner and wouldn't have to control what goes past my lips. But facts are that I don't exercise as often as I should and I spend at least 8 hours at my desk, and I let myself eat 'just a bit more' with the thought that I don't eat that many calories. And then I spend 2 hours watching a movie and, if I go out, 4 hours in a bar drinking my reward for the day.

There are many food-indulgent habits I'd like to get rid of. I have to stop saying things like "It's a party so I have to try everything" and "I only had an apple for lunch so I'm allowed fish and chips and extra tartare sauce". I've also got to stop making fun of people who go, "I ate a doughnut and that equals an hour's run," with comebacks like "Oh no, I ate a pea now I have to do 600 sit-ups. Just enjoy it, fool." It's probably why I've gained 15 kilos in the past 3 years, and now I'm the fool.

This week my aim is to not eat until I'm full, and to go to the gym at least four times this week.

The Fighter

2011-03-09T17:28:00.002+08:00

I walked out of the cinema with my jaw on the floor. This movie is absolutely beautiful.

Mark Wahlberg plays Micky Ward, a boxer from Lowell, Massachusettes, who keeps losing in the ring despite his potential. Standing between him and success are his wishful but trashy mother played by Melissa Leo, and his trainer, the boxing has-been turned crack-addict half-brother played by Christian Bale. But Micky's family are also the love of his life, and there is the predicament the movie basically plays on.

Ward receives blow after blow, not only in the ring but in his family life. His turning points come in the form of his new girlfriend, a bad loss in the ring and his brother getting sent to jail. His father takes hold of the reigns and Ward gets a new manager and coach, but not without some kicking and screaming from his mother and a heartbroken brother.

I loved the powerful and compelling story, but I was more impressed with its awesome cast. The cast as a whole was dynamite, but I cannot do without highlighting Christian Bale. He was PHENOMENAL in this film. Just 5 minutes into the movie and I was blown away by Bale's performance. As Heath Ledger did in Dark Knight, Bale completely lost all of himself to play the screwed-up Ecklund to absolute perfection. To achieve this, Bale lost 30 pounds to look the part, and disappeared for hours before filming to prepare to play the part. Bale earned a well-deserved Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his fantastic work. Melissa Leo also does a good enough job as Ward and Ecklund's mother to win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress

The rest of the cast played a major role in making this film real and convincing. From Amy Adams, who plays his newly acquired strong-willed girlfriend Charlene, to the six sisters from his mother's multiple marriages, the characters made it seem like the film was made out entirely of 'real people'.

This is the best 'based on a true story' film that I have had the pleasure to see. After reading up on the real story of Micky Ward, I am wowed with how the cast and crew have worked to make this film as true to life as possible, from Dick's window jumping to Ward's fights in the ring.

If you had to watch only one boxing film in your life, watch The Fighter.

8.5/10

I do have something to boast about after all.

2011-03-03T18:13:00.000+08:00

Blech.

I'm feeling a bit bleak today, not unlike Stevie Smith's poem Not Waving but Drowning.

But even while swimming in a bowl of sorry soup I managed to think about how my last blog post isn't entirely true.

Sure I haven't been to Mandarin classes. At the moment I'm saving up for my UK trip in April (!I can't believe I'm heading over again) and am reluctant to sign up for something I'm not sure I'll be able to afford in terms of money and time.

But I'm actually with it on the whole when it's come to my resolutions. Wearing 'going out' clothes in the office, on track with saving up for the UK, writing in my blog more often that I thought was possible, and last month, I got my advanced open water diver qualification! Yay me!

And with that, I leave you with a picture of the sunset at KK's Waterfront from about a week ago. Not so blech.

March Has Marched In

2011-03-01T17:35:00.000+08:00

I'm in a kind of a time limbo where I feel as if the days are moving along as quick as snails and yet March is already here and I still have nothing to boast about.

Coffee and Workout = Good

2011-02-22T10:21:00.000+08:00

I made it to the running track this morning despite the heavy eyelids. I haven't been to the gym since last week - either had appointments (i.e. parties) around afternoon gym time or hungover the next morning. There was no appointment yesterday and so I had no excuse this morning. My alarm rang at 6.31am, and I was out of the house by 7.15am, after a 15 minute contemplation followed by a mug of strong coffee.

I'm a fan of having coffee before a run, it makes me feel less pathetic when I'm exercising. I'm running/ellipticking (that's Yolanda for being on the elliptical machine) longer and I'm able to do sprints in between. So today instead of passing out after 18 minutes of jogging, I did 26 minutes with two 15-second sprints in between. (The sprints aren't a special technique of boosting calorie burns or anything. I just didn't want to hit 9 minutes per kilometre!)

Scientific research says caffeine is definitely good for you before a workout (Google it!) so I'm sticking to it. And like anything else in life, moderation is good.

Yah - my running is still pretty sad, but I've improved a lot from being able to run just 700 metres when I first started. My sin is lack of consistency and having a stomach that thinks it's a bottomless pit. Still, in two weeks, I've lost about 4lbs. I hope to lose another 10 by the end of April. God grant me discipline!

This morning's calorie burn: 293kcals. Hope to make it to the gym later today for some weights too.

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

2011-02-19T13:18:00.000+08:00

One of my favourite things to have come across on the 'net is the popular compilation of quotes from kids when they were asked what love means. This morning I stumbled upon it probably for the tenth time and it still makes me think, laugh and melt!

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all even when his hands got arthritis, too. That's Love."
Rebecca - age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French Fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss."
Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."
Nikka - age 6 (WOW!)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears iteveryday."
Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her oldclothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you"
Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. (Now this will melt your heart.) The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

When to flip a coin

2011-02-18T11:38:00.001+08:00

5 things I will NOT be doing on Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T14:56:00.006+08:00

The DREADED Valentine's Day is here! I'm sure if I just ignore it, it will go away quickly. It works with people I don't like!

Just so you know, today started with a triple whammy. 1) I woke up still single. 2) Ten people's birthday today, one of which is a frenemy 3) An old flame sent me an email inviting me to his wedding in August. If this all happened on any day except today I think I would be less injured.

It can be a day of romantic expectancy and excitement for couples and a day of evil damnation for singles who are broken and damaged from relationships that are no more. For others, they view Valentine's as merely another day and can't relate with those who fall into this commercial trap that companies have brought into exaggerated existence.

You can't deny it's because it's been built up so much that most people either celebrate, or at the very least, expect something out of it because it's advertised well.

It may be because I'm single but Feb 14th makes me want to find a dark corner to hide in until the world has stopped telling me I need to embrace the most 'romantic' day of the year. All will be well again once all over-planned romantic escapades have been completed and all things red or pink and heart-shaped has been binned.

And so, until people have put away their halos and returned to their normal human forms and couples are squabbling again, the five things that I will NOT be doing today in order to keep the little sanity that I have left are:

1. Eating dinner out alone. I'm comfortable going out and having dinner on my own but for obvious reasons, tonight is one night that I will definitely spend having a meal at home, in the company of my colleagues. (no, that's not what I cal my family, I actually live at work, as do my colleagues). I will save myself from witnessing vomit-inducing moments and also avoid the world's way of pointing and laughing at me for being single.

2. Watching romantic comedy films. This will be death of any single girl on her own on Valentine's night. Tonight, my colleagues and I are planning to watch a gory, horror film with lots of deaths and murders. I am honestly looking forward to it.

3. Wallowing in pools of long island iced teas. Oh-so-tempting, but it will reduce the risk of me drunk-texting/cailing/tweeting/facebooking/bawling at the end of the night.

4.Hosting or attending a singles' anti-Valentines day party. I can't see this ending up as a fun night. Also I think it will just highlight and underline and put in bold the fact that the group consists of single, sad and bitter individuals. It is highly likely that a night like this will entail talking about failed relationships, accompanied by emotional eating and or excessive drinking, which will contribute to the likeliness of drunk-texting/calling/tweeting/facebooking/bawling by the end of the night.

5. Declaring that I hate this day. Despite my slightly negative reaction to this day, I do not hate it. I wish all who celebrate it a happy day, and hope that your day ends in a Disney-movie kind of way, if that's how you'd like it to end. For those who don't celebrate it, we're watching a horror film tonight and you're welcome to join us.

Grow strawberries first

2011-02-09T10:41:00.000+08:00

My two sisters were talking about their gardens. And as usual, the eldest has the "best" advice for everything.

"You know your garden? Don't plant the corn yet. Plant the strawberries first, they harvest faster." She says to sister number 2. I bite my tongue. Like, helloooo, strawberries don't grow in our tropical weather! There she goes again, thinking she knows everything.

"Oh really? What about my cabbage patch?" Since when do either of them have time to garden?! I begin to think that this is the most ridiculous conversation they've ever had. Gardening? Them?

And then, "Well, what level are you now?"

Level?

I snort in smugness to my correct guess that they haven't actually been gardening.

If only they spent their Facebook Farmville time on an actual garden doing actual gardening!

2011-02-09T10:09:00.000+08:00

“Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Louis Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Da Vinci, and Albert Einstein.” ~H. Jackson Brown

Flat like a cardboard.

2011-02-04T17:29:00.001+08:00

I went to the cinema with my 16 year old niece and 15 year old nephew yesterday to go see the Green Hornet (which I'm rating a 6.5 out of 10)

On our way out of the cinema we pass a pop-out poster for The Adjustment Bureau with Emily Blunt and Matt Damon. My nephew Sam saw the opportunity for a comedy pose with Ms. Blunt and goes over to hold her hand.

The 15 year old in me piped up, "OooOOHHHhhh, you like her? Is she pretty enough to be your girlfriend?"

To which Sam responds, "No way! She's so flat!"

Er, somehow I was not expecting this admission to what kind of boobies he likes. And so my reply was, "Oh? You like girls with big boobs?"

To which there was no response except a red face. My niece let out a short burst of laughter. Had she been drinking her coke, it would have come out of her nose.

"NOOO!!!" He says, obviously embarrassed. "I mean she's a flat piece of CARDBOARDDD POSTER!!!"

Oh. Heh. I knew he was being a bit too casual about it when he said she was flat.

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine

2011-02-04T14:36:00.003+08:00

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I receive pats on my back with much caution. It's a flaw I'd like to be rid of.
***
There are two occasions where I think it's fair to just dismiss the compliment, because the fault is in the delivery, not me.

1. When they can't specify it. I get this a lot from one person in particular. To be fair it's his own flaw. But it frustrates me when I get a compliment and feel comfortable enough to ask for specifics and all I get is a flustered, "You're great to have around."

"My Aura" is not something I can put on my CV. And my 5 month old nephew is great to have around too.

2. When different degrees of quality receive the same degree of praise. Or recycled praises. I occasionally make pancakes for the team. I get compliments like, "This is the best pancake I've had in years!" or even just "That was delicious!"

But one day another colleague made some pancakes that didn't go down so well with the group and there were many half eaten ones in the bin. And still I heard, "This is the best pancake I've had in years!" or even just "That was delicious!"

Made me want to spit in my next batch of pancakes.
***

I want to receive all well-delivered compliments and believe them 100%, be inspired by myself and expect only to do better after that.

In reality, my belief in praises are 50-50. I wince a little inside, wondering if the compliment is sincere, silently telling the speaker I'm glad they think I did well, but I actually wish I did better.

I don't really like bringing my flaws out into the open; my belief is that most of the time, people haven't noticed your flaws, or care about them, in the first place, until you bring it up and acknowledge it yourself. It's true. E.g. When you suddenly say things like, "This big pimple right in the middle of my chin really hurts." Tell me if I'm wrong but 95% of the time, the reply is "What pimple?" And the other 5% of the time when they acknowledge it, you start to think that EVERYONE can see it and are thinking that your pimple must really hurt.

But selling myself short is something I want to deal with, and I know I'm not the only one who notices it.

I know how to receive compliments. I straighten my posture, smile as sincerely as I can and thank them sweetly. I just don't know how to believe them 100%.

***